Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
