This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
