the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I didn't notice because vodka
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
