So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
