The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
