I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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