She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
