PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
