forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
