Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
