We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
