we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
