So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
