Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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