So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
