That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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