i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
