I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
