I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
