Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I came so hard my ears popped.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
