Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
