also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
