We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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