I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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