This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
