This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize