Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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