hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
