Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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