I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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