ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
love makes seman taste better
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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