my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize