Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
