Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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