I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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