ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
high people should be assigned attendants
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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