I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
