Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
