Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
