I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
