It's just like the Real World with babies
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
