Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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