This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
