you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize