He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
