Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize