Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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