I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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