Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My pussy is not your playground.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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