I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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