so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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