is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
