is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
