i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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