Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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