We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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