i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
