My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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