she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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